No Scholarships This Year

Well that was no surprise on my end. Two months ago I applied for internal scholarships for the next year within the aviation department and more specifically the Air Traffic Control department.

"Dear SFND:

When we received your application for the student scholarship program, we here at the aerospace department laughed histarically. We thank you for letting us release our built up stress and tension. We even let out a little dribble of pee, your application was that funny! Thanks to you we have been able to elimate the need for stress balls during registration time, thus reducing the budget and allowing more money to be freed up for the scholarship program. Unfortuntely, you don't get any of that money.

We do however love that you are continuing to pay out-of-state fees here at the University of North Dakota. But we need to be able to offer our local students even cheaper in-state costs, so they end up paying nothing while your debt balloons. We just love to see student's debt become so large that the interests on the loans is so overbearing that you will never see the light of day.

We see that you are tops in your Aviation classes and even more highly rated in your ATC courses, but we regret that we can not offer highly motivated and intelligent students any money. On the bright side your Friday night on awards night will free, so may we suggest that you pick up that extra shift because now you will need the extra cash.

Oh by the way, we decided to increase your tuition for next semester. Good Luck!

Sincerely,
Aerospace Department
Air Traffic Control"

Although the letter does not actually say that, basically that's what I got out of it.