Birthday Surprise
My birthday is quickly approaching. As of the date of my birth my heart would have beated 832,943,520 times. I would have taken 173,529,900 breaths. Pretty impressive that nothing has broken down yet. I would like to thank all of those for the kind words and gifts. Much thanks is given to Scottie for starting off my holiday weight gaining season earlier this year. He opted to win over my love by sending me Tim Tams from Australia.
For all of you not fimilar with Tim Tams, they are manufactured by Arnott's in Australia. They are the among the many gifts given to the world by the Australians. The best part is that all the information regarding health concerns are written in kiljoules and grams, and being that I am still on the dirty American scales, I have never learned those fancy metric meausrements. So I do not have to realize that they are actually just as fatty as several Big Mac's. I could/would just sit down, open a package and eat the entire thing before Neighbours was over when I lived down there. Every American that was down there ended up hording and taking back dozens of packages to their family... most of the time the Tim Tams never made it back to the US mainland, but for those few that have sampled Tim Tams, they are a irresistable treat that is all consuming.
So yes, I ended up eating several packages of Tim Tams that Scottie sent me. And all of them are starting to migrate their way down. I have received several nice cards, some from people I really didnt expect to get ones from. But it is nice to see they actually take the time to run to the store, write something vague and nice about me, slap their name on it, and throw it in the mail.
For me, birthdays are not important. It's like, we celebrate a sucessful ejection of your body from the womb of your mother. But then we get the stories, I was in labour for 23 hours with you. You were a bitch. You didnt want to come out. I had the weirdest cravings while pregnant with you. You made me eat pickles and horse-radish sause ontop of pickled beets. They wouldnt give me an epidural with you. For a tiny thing when you were born, you sure made it feel like it was a tight fit when you were coming out.
Thank god I am 832,943,520 heart beats old and I can drink.
For all of you not fimilar with Tim Tams, they are manufactured by Arnott's in Australia. They are the among the many gifts given to the world by the Australians. The best part is that all the information regarding health concerns are written in kiljoules and grams, and being that I am still on the dirty American scales, I have never learned those fancy metric meausrements. So I do not have to realize that they are actually just as fatty as several Big Mac's. I could/would just sit down, open a package and eat the entire thing before Neighbours was over when I lived down there. Every American that was down there ended up hording and taking back dozens of packages to their family... most of the time the Tim Tams never made it back to the US mainland, but for those few that have sampled Tim Tams, they are a irresistable treat that is all consuming.
So yes, I ended up eating several packages of Tim Tams that Scottie sent me. And all of them are starting to migrate their way down. I have received several nice cards, some from people I really didnt expect to get ones from. But it is nice to see they actually take the time to run to the store, write something vague and nice about me, slap their name on it, and throw it in the mail.
For me, birthdays are not important. It's like, we celebrate a sucessful ejection of your body from the womb of your mother. But then we get the stories, I was in labour for 23 hours with you. You were a bitch. You didnt want to come out. I had the weirdest cravings while pregnant with you. You made me eat pickles and horse-radish sause ontop of pickled beets. They wouldnt give me an epidural with you. For a tiny thing when you were born, you sure made it feel like it was a tight fit when you were coming out.
Thank god I am 832,943,520 heart beats old and I can drink.
posted by SFND at
6:56 PM
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