What happens when your friend calls you to tell you that your check for the apartment rent never showed up? What happens when your bank shows and says the check was deposited into an account with no signature? What happens when you call your bank to tell them the story? They freeze your account, the account on the back of the check, and file a lawsuit against the account number on the back.

What happens when your friend calls you back an hour later, saying that his dad was a goof and actually did deposit the check? You breathe a sigh of relief!

Electronic Mail/Snail Mail fraud, not so much fun to deal with. Though I felt like a movie star when I had to sign papers in the bank the other day. Got the royal treatment. US Bank really takes mail fraud seriously. Good for them.

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What happens when you tell your best friend you find him extremely attractive and would love to have a partner like him one day? What happens when you tell him this sober? He calls everyday, sometimes thrice a day to "JUST TALK."

What is the conversation like when your attractive best friend calls and is bord? The conversation usually entails conversation about being so hot in the current location. Having to be shirtless to cope. What happens when you have yet to get any since leaving Australia? You tend to fantize about your very attractive friend.

What happens when you want to impress your very attractive friend? You end up spending a good 2 hours a day in the gym, loosing 15 pounds in 3 weeks, and starting to gain some muscle definition, just so you can impress someone that clearly is not batting for your team.

Le Sigh....