Alcohol always makes for an inconvinent truth to be spoken. In my case, a nearly castrophic physical altercation with the best buddy.
I've always been a very private guy. I release information in regards to my life on a need to know basis and sometimes it's very vague when I do release it. I've become even more private since moving back to the states. It's that mentality, where I just want to blend in as much as possible, not rocking the boat and getting out of here as quick as possible without any problems.
I just don't share information with others. If there is not a need to know, then no one is going to know.
Mike and I have been kind of stressing our friendship the last 3 months or so, with a slight reprieve when I visited him in Seattle. I suppose the location could be a factor but not a major reason for both of our resent hostile, standoff-ish behavior towards each other lately. I think he feels like he doesn't know me because I keep my life so private.
I can understand his point. I suppose too much mystery can be a bad thing becuase someone can not really know who you are.
However, he made a comment that ripped my trust with him straight away. We were sitting on the bed with others and he jolts up when I sad down next to him. We had been drinking.
Mike: ".... I am kind of homophobic when I drink, bad experience with someone."
Me: "... I'm not him, so get over yourself."
That's basically where the fight started. The problem is that Mike is one of the only guys I know extremely comfortable with it. We don't go into great detail but he would be the last guy being homophobic. It has been said that drinking brings out the real truth. Maybe he isn't okay with it. Further down the line in regards to not devolving personaly information and/or sharing personal information with the other roommate before him it got physical. No black eyes, no real punches were thrown. I think we both realized if punches were thrown, it would have not been good. He was the bigger guy, he left the situation.
I've been in this situation before. It resulted in alienating the best friend. Finally talking to her some 3 months later, just weeks before her death. I will not repeat those mistakes. We both will have regain each other's trust. It will probably be a difficult road ahead. But hopefully we both learn from the mistakes and move along.
I've always been a very private guy. I release information in regards to my life on a need to know basis and sometimes it's very vague when I do release it. I've become even more private since moving back to the states. It's that mentality, where I just want to blend in as much as possible, not rocking the boat and getting out of here as quick as possible without any problems.
I just don't share information with others. If there is not a need to know, then no one is going to know.
Mike and I have been kind of stressing our friendship the last 3 months or so, with a slight reprieve when I visited him in Seattle. I suppose the location could be a factor but not a major reason for both of our resent hostile, standoff-ish behavior towards each other lately. I think he feels like he doesn't know me because I keep my life so private.
I can understand his point. I suppose too much mystery can be a bad thing becuase someone can not really know who you are.
However, he made a comment that ripped my trust with him straight away. We were sitting on the bed with others and he jolts up when I sad down next to him. We had been drinking.
Mike: ".... I am kind of homophobic when I drink, bad experience with someone."
Me: "... I'm not him, so get over yourself."
That's basically where the fight started. The problem is that Mike is one of the only guys I know extremely comfortable with it. We don't go into great detail but he would be the last guy being homophobic. It has been said that drinking brings out the real truth. Maybe he isn't okay with it. Further down the line in regards to not devolving personaly information and/or sharing personal information with the other roommate before him it got physical. No black eyes, no real punches were thrown. I think we both realized if punches were thrown, it would have not been good. He was the bigger guy, he left the situation.
I've been in this situation before. It resulted in alienating the best friend. Finally talking to her some 3 months later, just weeks before her death. I will not repeat those mistakes. We both will have regain each other's trust. It will probably be a difficult road ahead. But hopefully we both learn from the mistakes and move along.
posted by SFND at
5:29 AM
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